Hunger

By Benjamin “Bush” Christopher (2013, Fo n’ale)

The worst part about sitting alone
is thinking about the fact that I am alone.

Memory striking my mind,
I am shattered

I hunger for connection . . .
Heart growls for the taste of a warm embrace
For a father to hold me when I cry
To say, “I love you, son, I always have,
and I couldn’t be more proud.”

Heart growls for a mother to be there
who loves every part of who I am. Just because I am.
I hunger for connection . . .Tengo hambre pa conneccion…
My own grandfather clock heart ticking
beats…to hear a mother’s words,
“I love you, son.” Te amo hijo
I wake night after night,
and you have left me
Sometimes I sneak into your room just to feel your hand while you’re sleeping,
Just to know that you’re still here
Wanting you to wake up, not wanting to wake you,
wanting you to wake up, not wanting to wake you.
Wake up! Wake up! Levantate!
And feel the beat of love that you must hold in your chest
and see how it matches the beat of mine.
Do you know me? Can you help me find myself?
Your son
Do you know me? Can you help me find myself?
I feel like a stranger
Am I crazy?
Please see my need for comfort
Am I not worthy?
Searching each day
a dance in circles
Levantate! Wake up, wake up!
I will sing this song of life
Until I cannot sing any longer.